Originally published by Robert Beisert at fortcollinsprogram.robert-beisert.com

My Sentiments, Exactly!

The Supreme Dark Lord posted a sort of open letter to the kind of guys I see at conventions (and online) all the time.

I don’t mind that you’re overweight, intelligent, and less attractive to women than you’d like to be. What do I care about any of that? I’m not going to pretend to be interested in your life, nor do I expect you to be particularly interested in mine. I’m perfectly happy to take you as you are when I meet you on the battlefields of Advanced Squad Leader, in the online arenas of the computer gaming world, or at a technology convention.

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve got nothing against you.

But here is what you don’t seem to understand. I have two eyes and I am perfectly capable of seeing what is in front of me. I also have a memory, which means that I am also perfectly capable of recalling what happened yesterday, and the day before that. And what that means is that all the poses you are striking, and all the posturing in which you so regularly engage, simply doesn’t fool me at all.

Look, it’s okay to lose. Everybody loses from time to time. So, when you’re turning red in the face and frantically telling everyone that you didn’t really lose when we all saw you do it, well, to be honest, that makes you look a little crazy.

I don’t think you’re a bad person at heart, but you’ve got some bad habits and some bad instincts, which combined with your insecurities and your psychological scars from the way people mistreated you when you were younger, causes you to engage in some despicable behaviors. You can’t help what happened in the past, but you do control what happens next.

So, for the love of God, for the love of yourself, will you please stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself, and stop insulting both of our intelligences by acting as if you’re the secret king who always triumphs, even if the victories are only in your head.

I could never have said it better.

So this one goes out to you, Secret Kings (you probably don’t know who you are). The power to be all that you’ve ever imagined is yours, but you have to admit that you’ve got a problem that needs correction.